Tuesday, January 26, 2010

# 49. Blessed. =)

It has been a really long time since I've been truly happy. If you can see from my past writings, its a lot about me feeling lost and unsure of who I truly am anymore. I'm not going to lie that I was sad and I was afraid. Like I've said, last year kind of just came and passed. But all in all, I felt that it was not a year wasted. I was exposed to a whole lot of things. My eyes and ears had seen and heard about many many things which I've never knew. Yes, even things which if I were to be given a chance, I would choose to not know. But I guess, thats a part of the learning process, no?

I've been way better lately, in fact, never better in a long long time. I realised, when a friend of mine told me, how truly blessed I am. I may not be perfect but I am truly happy for being who I am. I am happy for the gifts that God has blessed me with, I am happy for who He made me to be. Yes, I am not in doubt of myself anymore. I know who I am, and I am having a great time now. Blessed with the people He sent me, who I've learnt that can appear from places that I would least expected it, who made a huge impact in me and those new friendships formed are truly treasured. =)

Why do I want to write this? I guess, I just want to write this down so that it could help remind me of how truly blessed I am if I were to go through a hard patch in life again in the future. I would want to remind myself about how to always look at the bright side; that nothing is too big to overcome; that no matter what, put God and yourself first; that no matter what, you are still you, be bold and be yourself.


Friday, January 15, 2010

# 48. Modelle Beauty 50, top 20.

Hey peeps! =]

First and foremost, sorry guys, I've been kinda busy lately with lots of things, so this post is kinda late, I know. =P Anyhow, though I came back from my Penang trip late at night, I've kinda expected the results. Haha. Yes guys, I didn't make it through to the top 20. =) Anyhow, all's well. I've entered this competition with just the hopes of having fun, learning more things and making more friends, and I've did. =] So thank you guys who've voted for me to keep me in for so long, a million times.

Hey guys, =) believe me, this wont be the last of me. I'll continue on doing it if it still interests me and so far, the experience that I've gained is none other than awesome to me. And yeah, I will still be featured in this month's issue. BUT please DON'T vote for me. Do vote for other of the awesome girls alright?

Besides that, if you guys are still interested to win some goodies, do vote for the pretty girls by a bunch. =] You might be able to win some of the goodies as listed below.

4. Beauty 20(4th round) Top 3 highest voters prizes:
First prize, Nintendo Wii, half year subscription of MODELLE Magazine (6 issues) and a date with one of the model of choice.
Second prize: Leather wear from high-fashion brand worth of RM1,200
Third prize: Exclusive spa vouchers worth of RM900

For their beautiful pictures, please click here.

And as for the last picture of me with Modelle Beauty 50 competition, here's for your eyes only. =)

So once again, thank you guys for your votes to keep me in so far in the competition. =) hugs and kisses people. <3



Friday, January 8, 2010

# 47. Back to Basics.

i simply love the age old picture above. looking at how young my brothers and i were, i remembered how we used to play together, teased one another, argued, fought, hugged and cried together compared to how we all grew matured and into lives of our own. my eldest brother; having a stable job, beautiful house, and is getting married in a few days time, my annoying-pesky second brother; has been studying and then working in the States, just came back home after 2 long years, and me; well, i'm currently doing my degree in Kampar and is trying out any opportunity offered in life. i realised how less we talk lately and how much we grew apart. i realised how old my parents have grown and i understand how lonely they must have felt. i saw shimmering tears lingering in both my parents' beautiful eyes when they saw this picture-currently my wallpaper- and i saw how excited their eyes lit up whenever they started talking about our younger days.

my parents said that the three of us are of different personalities. the eldest; careful, good, respects authority, shy and timid, the middle; annoying, mischievous, cheeky and cuddly, the youngest; brave, determined, careless, adventurous, a do-er, a dreamer, fragile yet strong. i guess, those words reflect exactly who we are till this very day. i realised, who we are, since we are babies, are who we truly are deep down under our skin-despite slight changes and modifications due to life lessons learnt. i know no matter how a person changed and no matter how someone felt lost and astray, you still have that person in you, you've just forgotten that you are that person.

i am a person who never say never. if theres an obstacle in front of me, i'll crawl, climb, move, dig, do whatever it takes, to overcome it. believe me, my mum said when i was as little as a few months old, i started climbing over the baby cot, no matter how hard and high just to get out. i always fall off the barricades and hurt myself. yes, i tend to fall and get hurt a lot when i was young. i am fragile but yet strong. my grandma used to tell me that i used to be really really fragile-like. i can simply fall by just walking by myself on a straight road, which explains my bruises as well, but as small as i am, i am able to move a 10kg packet of rice. i love exploring and i love freedom as well as learning and understanding new things. i never liked being grounded and locked up by anything, for example the baby cot, and i started speaking even before i was 1 year old-compared to my brothers;1++ and 4++ respectively.

so yeah, listening to all those little little things which made a huge mark in my parent's memories brought tears of happiness to my eyes as well. how silly and how kids say the darnest things. i realised that things used to be so much easier and simple back then. where we can run and explore without worries. even if we fall, we would climb back up, wipe away the dirt and that little tear in our eyes, and continue running around with that same wide smile pasted on our faces as before. how fear used to be only scoldings from mummy and daddy. how we were carefree and brave, pure and innocent, new and fresh to the harshness and coldness of life. i wish to be able to turn back time. hell, i remember that i've always wanted to grow up fast because i felt that being a child, i am restricted to a lot of things-like i've said, i'm adventurous and i love to explore things in life- and now, how much i would give up just to go back to the days where i used to fight with my brothers, we used to play hide-and-go-seek, how i used to play imagination games with them, how they did not let me touch their GI Joe figurines and how i used to always try to fit in with my brothers-we have a huge age gap. i missed those simpler days and by simply thinking about it, reminded me of who i am and my priorities as well as what matters in life.


Monday, January 4, 2010

# 46. baby, im back. =)

baby, im back! =]
lesson learnt, wiser, eyes wide opened, finally understood, no regrets, case finally closed.
thanks peeps. you know who you guys are. =)
i'm sorry people. was alil lost, too busy mending my own heart and getting my mind straight,
but i promise
you will be seeing a whole lot of me.
note to self: always remember to trust and put yourself first no matter what.


Friday, January 1, 2010

# 45. 2009.

Happy New Year you guys! =]

My new year celebration wasn't as I hoped it would be, instead, it was a 360degree turn but I sure hope that your's are way way better than mine. 2009 was a whole year of blur for me. It kind of just came and went without me realising it. Anyhow, as a tradition, I will post up pictures of yesteryear as memories for me to look back on. So do enjoy.




So, that's about it. That about sums up my 2009. Had a great deal of fun, had so much laughters and tears, had many many ups and downs, learnt a whole lot of things, found out who are my true friends and who aren't, fell in love and had my heart broken, ventured out into things which I've never thought I could, made a few new great friends, wiser, stronger and tougher. Nevertheless, I'm still me, all geared up for 2010. Happy new year again you guys. All the best for the year ahead and remember every time, if you do fall, that its just life. Rainbows only happen after a period of rain. So bring it on right guys?