# 43. for you.

i've once written a post about how much i love you.

i still do love you and it hurts hell lot.

i don't know what happened and

i don't know what i can do or say.

all i know is even though it is the second time round, it did not hurt

less instead, it hurts more.

tissue papers filled the floor, pillows stained with tears, eyes puffy, everything that is in my heart has been said, but it still hurts.

all that is in my mind right now is how happy we were.

how i love it that you were patient and not pushy.

how you slowly but surely melted my heart and broke down those walls i built up.

how you've came back and made things right.

how i wish that you'll come back and make things right again.

how i am wrong and how i wish to have not done any of those things.

how i wish to be able to just rewind back to a few days earlier and to make things right.

how i wish to be able to hold you in my arms again, telling me that it is okay.

how i wish to know that you've been unhappy and how i wish to make

them all go away for you.

how i wish to take away all our stupid arguments and to promise you to never have them again.

how i just want you to know that i am truly happy with you.

i am confused, i do not understand but all i know is it hurts.

i know things will be better.

i know that we'll eventually move on and all this will be a distant past.

but i still don't understand what really happened.

when we both love each other and it has been proved by us being together so many times, that we can work things out.

i don't know what i can do or what i can say anymore.

all i know is that it hurts and i love you.

*ps. christmas wasn't christmas this year. i've said it last year that it was my favourite time of the year, even better than my birthday. but the christmas mood missed me this year. i had fun with my friends and i was happy. but it just doesn't feel like christmas. call me grinch but yeah. this is to a better 2010.

*pss. "Apologising does not mean that I'm wrong and you are right... It simply means that I value the relationship more than my ego.."- Joe Tham.

Inspirations.