i've once written a post about how much i love you.
i still do love you and it hurts hell lot.
i don't know what happened and
i don't know what i can do or say.
all i know is even though it is the second time round, it did not hurt
less instead, it hurts more.
tissue papers filled the floor, pillows stained with tears, eyes puffy, everything that is in my heart has been said, but it still hurts.
all that is in my mind right now is how happy we were.
how i love it that you were patient and not pushy.
how you slowly but surely melted my heart and broke down those walls i built up.
how you've came back and made things right.
how i wish that you'll come back and make things right again.
how i am wrong and how i wish to have not done any of those things.
how i wish to be able to just rewind back to a few days earlier and to make things right.
how i wish to be able to hold you in my arms again, telling me that it is okay.
how i wish to know that you've been unhappy and how i wish to make
them all go away for you.
how i wish to take away all our stupid arguments and to promise you to never have them again.
how i just want you to know that i am truly happy with you.
i am confused, i do not understand but all i know is it hurts.
i know things will be better.
i know that we'll eventually move on and all this will be a distant past.
but i still don't understand what really happened.
when we both love each other and it has been proved by us being together so many times, that we can work things out.
i don't know what i can do or what i can say anymore.
all i know is that it hurts and i love you.
*ps. christmas wasn't christmas this year. i've said it last year that it was my favourite time of the year, even better than my birthday. but the christmas mood missed me this year. i had fun with my friends and i was happy. but it just doesn't feel like christmas. call me grinch but yeah. this is to a better 2010.
*pss. "Apologising does not mean that I'm wrong and you are right... It simply means that I value the relationship more than my ego.."- Joe Tham.
Thank God and you guys, I'm through again. =D So here I am, in the third round and now, there's only 30 of us left! ahhh~ The competition is getting though! Believe me, all the girls are awesome! Do search for some of their blogs at my blog roll alright?
Anyhow, do continue to vote for me! Like I said, I'm loving the experience and the people I know from this competition. So yeah, please do keep my opportunity alive. Every vote counts! As I said before, every vote is accumulative and is carried forward to the next round. So please, one vote is more than enough from each person, as long as you vote every round. =)
Nevertheless, there are goodies awaiting the highest voter this round as well! To be perfectly honest, it gets more and more tempting after every round! So yeah, do vote and you're able to get goodies yourselves too!
PRIZES (Voters Benefits)
3.Beauty 30 (3rd round) Top 3 highest voters prizes:
First prize: Camera, half year subscription of MODELLE Magazine (6 issues) and a date with the one of the model choice. Second prize: Leather wear from high-fashion brand worth of RM800 Third prize: iPod shuffle/nano
Alright, time for pictures. =D I rather like this round's theme-elements. As most of you guys already know, there are four elements; wind, earth, fire and water. And I'm in water! The concept is more of body art-make up. So we only had cloths wrapped around us. Do enjoy!
The before. The usual cam-whore me. =x
The after. Look at the make up, the body art as well as the long lashes!
CX Studio & Services, Puchong.
Behind the scenes. Getting my hair done and some cam-whoring moments with the babes. Photographs credits to Eva Lim.
The outcome. Mermaid?
Like what your seeing?
To vote for me: Type MODV (space) MEL to 36660 RM 1.00/vote. There are no voting limits. (the more the merrier! =]) Voting for the third round starts 12th December 2009.
To visit the magazine website, please click here. To visit the magazine facebook page, please click here. To visit my facebook page, please click here.
The third issue is already out in leading bookstores nationwide! Its only RM 7.00 per copy! Do catch a copy and please please please, vote for me! Each person contribute only one vote is more than enough, but please do help me annoy your other friends to do likewise. =D Thanks so much in advance. Hugs and kisses from me. xoxo~
Everyone changes from time to time. Everyone learn from their mistakes and make improvements. Everyone matures in time. Everyone may change and be afraid of life. Everyone's wants and needs changes in different phases of life. Everyone modifies their beliefs accordingly to cope with life. Everyone evolves according to situation. Everyone learn and grow.
but no matter what
Remember who you are. Remember your roots. Remember that it is only life and it is normal to fall and stand up again. Remember that you cannot and need not satisfy everyone. Remember what you've always believed in. Remember to always listen to your heart. Remember what your stands are. Remember to always believe in yourself.
No matter what, do not compromise and doubt yourself. It is when you lose yourself, you lose everything.
I was traveling back to Kampar by train one day and a little boy with his mother were sitting in front of me. I was bored and looking at the little innocent boy, entertaining himself, ever so happily playing alone with nothing but two little Pokemon toy, amazed me. It reminded me about a post that was written by a friend of mine not too long ago and it really got me thinking. The two little piece of toy wasn't anything expensive, it wasn't branded, it wasn't even digitalized(like how most toys today are). It was just two little action-figured toy which cannot walk or talk unlike other gadgets today. It was simple. But yet, the huge smile on that little boy's face is still fresh in my memory till this very day.
It reminded me of the days when I used to play with my brothers and cousins. We used to entertain ourselves by just merely creating games with our very own imaginations. Creating things out of the air, role-playing, make-beliefs. Those were the days when I was truly happy, carefree and light. It was simple and attainable. But as we grew, we grew demanding, we grew hungry. All for the luxury that the world offers. The little things that makes a huge difference in life, were forgotten and ignored as we continue chasing and pursuing blindly for the never-ending, so-called happiness in life.
So yeah, its normal that we, as humans, tend to sway sideways and forget what is the most important things in life. We tend to take forgranted of the simplest things which matters and chase the so-called luxuries in life. Whatever it is that you are doing, always remember to stop once in a while, ask yourself, are you truly happy with who you are right now? Is really the "happiness" that you are chasing, happiness? Have you forgotten who you are and the little things that made you, you? Go back to the basics. Simplicity is enough to put a smile on your face longer than new clothes or gadget that you have just purchased.