# 44. last post of the twothousandnine.

Faith.Love.Hope

This is to a better 2010.

Happy New Year.

=)

Inspirations.

# 43. for you.

i've once written a post about how much i love you.

i still do love you and it hurts hell lot.

i don't know what happened and

i don't know what i can do or say.

all i know is even though it is the second time round, it did not hurt

less instead, it hurts more.

tissue papers filled the floor, pillows stained with tears, eyes puffy, everything that is in my heart has been said, but it still hurts.

all that is in my mind right now is how happy we were.

how i love it that you were patient and not pushy.

how you slowly but surely melted my heart and broke down those walls i built up.

how you've came back and made things right.

how i wish that you'll come back and make things right again.

how i am wrong and how i wish to have not done any of those things.

how i wish to be able to just rewind back to a few days earlier and to make things right.

how i wish to be able to hold you in my arms again, telling me that it is okay.

how i wish to know that you've been unhappy and how i wish to make

them all go away for you.

how i wish to take away all our stupid arguments and to promise you to never have them again.

how i just want you to know that i am truly happy with you.

i am confused, i do not understand but all i know is it hurts.

i know things will be better.

i know that we'll eventually move on and all this will be a distant past.

but i still don't understand what really happened.

when we both love each other and it has been proved by us being together so many times, that we can work things out.

i don't know what i can do or what i can say anymore.

all i know is that it hurts and i love you.

*ps. christmas wasn't christmas this year. i've said it last year that it was my favourite time of the year, even better than my birthday. but the christmas mood missed me this year. i had fun with my friends and i was happy. but it just doesn't feel like christmas. call me grinch but yeah. this is to a better 2010.

*pss. "Apologising does not mean that I'm wrong and you are right... It simply means that I value the relationship more than my ego.."- Joe Tham.

Inspirations.

# 42. Modelle Beauty 50, top 30.

Hey you guys and girls. =)

Thank God and you guys, I'm through again. =D So here I am, in the third round and now, there's only 30 of us left! ahhh~ The competition is getting though! Believe me, all the girls are awesome! Do search for some of their blogs at my blog roll alright?

Anyhow, do continue to vote for me! Like I said, I'm loving the experience and the people I know from this competition. So yeah, please do keep my opportunity alive. Every vote counts! As I said before, every vote is accumulative and is carried forward to the next round. So please, one vote is more than enough from each person, as long as you vote every round. =)

Nevertheless, there are goodies awaiting the highest voter this round as well! To be perfectly honest, it gets more and more tempting after every round! So yeah, do vote and you're able to get goodies yourselves too!

PRIZES (Voters Benefits)

3.Beauty 30 (3rd round) Top 3 highest voters prizes:

First prize: Camera, half year subscription of MODELLE Magazine (6 issues) and a date with the one of the model choice.
Second prize: Leather wear from high-fashion brand worth of RM800
Third prize: iPod shuffle/nano

Alright, time for pictures. =D I rather like this round's theme-elements. As most of you guys already know, there are four elements; wind, earth, fire and water. And I'm in water! The concept is more of body art-make up. So we only had cloths wrapped around us. Do enjoy!

The before.
The usual cam-whore me. =x

The after.
Look at the make up, the body art as well as the long lashes!

The location.

CX Studio & Services, Puchong.

Behind the scenes.
Getting my hair done and some cam-whoring moments with the babes.
Photographs credits to Eva Lim.

The outcome.
Mermaid?

Like what your seeing?

To vote for me:
Type MODV (space) MEL to 36660
RM 1.00/vote.
There are no voting limits. (the more the merrier! =])
Voting for the third round starts 12th December 2009.

To visit the magazine website, please click here.
To visit the magazine facebook page, please click here.
To visit my facebook page, please click here.

The third issue is already out in leading bookstores nationwide! Its only RM 7.00 per copy! Do catch a copy and please please please, vote for me! Each person contribute only one vote is more than enough, but please do help me annoy your other friends to do likewise. =D Thanks so much in advance. Hugs and kisses from me. xoxo~

Loves.~

Inspirations.

# 41. Metamorphosis.

Everyone changes from time to time.
Everyone learn from their mistakes and make improvements.
Everyone matures in time.
Everyone may change and be afraid of life.
Everyone's wants and needs changes in different phases of life.
Everyone modifies their beliefs accordingly to cope with life.
Everyone evolves according to situation.
Everyone learn and grow.

but no matter what

Remember who you are.
Remember your roots.
Remember that it is only life and it is normal to fall and stand up again.
Remember that you cannot and need not satisfy everyone.
Remember what you've always believed in.
Remember to always listen to your heart.
Remember what your stands are.
Remember to always believe in yourself.

No matter what, do not compromise and doubt yourself.
It is when you lose yourself, you lose everything.

Inspirations.

# 40. Kitschen.

Heyya readers. =]
Like the picture below?


Please help me and my bestie, Suzanne Leong by clicking the link below and press vote!
Thank you!

=)

Hugs and kisses~

Inspirations.

# 39. Friends.

Ears. Vision. Shoulder. Hand. Advice. Sincerity. Good Intentions. Forgiveness. Acceptance. Understanding. Loyalty. Readiness to Listen. Guide. Guardian Angel. Trustworthiness. Honesty. Smile. Heart.

those are all i need in a true friend.
bye bye so-called friends.
im done.

Inspirations.

# 38. Simplicity.

I was traveling back to Kampar by train one day and a little boy with his mother were sitting in front of me. I was bored and looking at the little innocent boy, entertaining himself, ever so happily playing alone with nothing but two little Pokemon toy, amazed me. It reminded me about a post that was written by a friend of mine not too long ago and it really got me thinking. The two little piece of toy wasn't anything expensive, it wasn't branded, it wasn't even digitalized(like how most toys today are). It was just two little action-figured toy which cannot walk or talk unlike other gadgets today. It was simple. But yet, the huge smile on that little boy's face is still fresh in my memory till this very day.

It reminded me of the days when I used to play with my brothers and cousins. We used to entertain ourselves by just merely creating games with our very own imaginations. Creating things out of the air, role-playing, make-beliefs. Those were the days when I was truly happy, carefree and light. It was simple and attainable. But as we grew, we grew demanding, we grew hungry. All for the luxury that the world offers. The little things that makes a huge difference in life, were forgotten and ignored as we continue chasing and pursuing blindly for the never-ending, so-called happiness in life.

So yeah, its normal that we, as humans, tend to sway sideways and forget what is the most important things in life. We tend to take forgranted of the simplest things which matters and chase the so-called luxuries in life. Whatever it is that you are doing, always remember to stop once in a while, ask yourself, are you truly happy with who you are right now? Is really the "happiness" that you are chasing, happiness? Have you forgotten who you are and the little things that made you, you? Go back to the basics. Simplicity is enough to put a smile on your face longer than new clothes or gadget that you have just purchased.

Inspirations.

# 37. A lil' lost.

Ever had this period of time in your life, where you do not know who you are? You feel a little lost, a little confused, a twinge of frustration and a whole lot of desperation? You try every single way you can think of, being an extreme in the opposite ends of the personality charts, being what you think you are but yet ending up not being happy? You want to find who is the person you are deep down inside again, the very person you used to know a very long time ago, a person who somehow got lost in the storms of life.

I am currently in that position. I am not going to lie. I am hyper at days or I can just be totally no body at times, believe me, you wouldn't even notice my presence. I realised, I don't know who I am anymore. I used to be this vigorous, vibrant, happy-go-lucky girl not too long back. I used to have a strong stand in life and in lot of issues of life, usually the star in the room. Today, I tend to sly by the sidelines, looking at how others strut their thing and just living a normal yet boring life. I am what you can rather say- a fire which has always burned so brightly, that has been rather dim for a period of time now.

If you know what I am talking about I guess, what you are going through is similiar with me. Your firy passion has been rather dim and all it needs is a little starter to get you back on track. I've always remembered this from last year's varsity church camp. What God told me, it is still so real till this very day.

-"Let it all go, girl. I did not intend for you to live a life full with chains and burdens. I did not intend for you to fear and to miss out all the goodness and opportunities in life. I want the best for you. I want you to live happily. That is My plan for you. Stand up and move."

I may not know what are the issues in life that you are battling and I do not know what causes you to lose yourself. I for one, has given it much thought. I know the causes of my problems and now it all boils down to the point of whether am I brave enough to move forward. I guess, it is the same for you. You might already know what are the causes so move forward. Do not dwell and cry over your misfortunes. Do not live your future in the past. Do not be tied down and be afraid to live your life as who you are. Find the very person you are deep down inside and be that person, regardless of whether you think people might say stuffs or what it might cause you. Falling is okay, but it is the climbing up that matters.

Inspirations.

# 36. Modelle Beauty 50, top 40.

Hey Hey! =D

First of all, I would wanna thank you guys so so much for your votes! I got into the second round! Yay! I wouldn't have been able to do it without your support! Thank you so so much! *hugs and kisses*

Okay, so yeah, I'm in the second round, so that means, I would need you guy's support more than ever now! =] This is because the votings are actually accumulative! And by that, it means that all those votes that I've got from last month, will be carried forward and those with the lowest votes will be out the next round. So yeah, please please please vote for me ya! I'm loving the experience that I'm getting and am loving modelling! =D So please help me keep this opportunity alive for me. Your every vote puts a smile so wide on my chubby face. =]

And again, worry not! Modelle is still offering the top 3 highest voters prizes! So, what are you still waiting for? vote vote vote!

PRIZES (Voters Benefits)

2.Beauty 40 (2nd round) Top 3 highest voters prizes:

First prize: RM 800 cash prize, half year subscription of MODELLE Magazine (6 issues) and a date with one of the model of choice.
Second prize: RM500 worth of perfume package.
Third prize: RM300 worth of F&B vouchers and cafes privilege card.

Okayy, picture time! As for my second shoot, I got Candy Girl as my theme. I was in brown though, so they called me Chocolate girl. lol. So please do enjoy the pictures ya. (including the camwhore pics.) =]

Yours truly, before shoot.

and here I am, after the shoot.

The location.
Kate's closet by Intoxi-kate, Bangsar Shopping Complex.

The outcome.
Chocolate Girl! lol.

Like those pictures?

To vote for me:
Type MODV (space) MEL to 36660
RM 1.00/vote.
There are no voting limits. (the more the merrier! =])
Voting for the second round starts 6th November 2009.

To visit the magazine website, please click here.
To visit the magazine facebook page, please click here.
To visit my facebook page, please click here.

The second issue is already out in stores nationwide! Its only RM 7.00 per copy! And also please take notice that MODELLE mag is not by anyhow related to MODELS magazine and so is Beauty 50 Contest. So yeah, please do me a huge favor by voting for me. Every vote matters loads to me. And please help spread the word too! Hugs~

Loves.~

Inspirations.

# 35. Home.

a home is where..

my soft bed and fluffy pillows are always so welcoming.
my cute teddy bears waiting upon me patiently on my bed.
my ever so messy table, hoping to be cleared.
the wonderful memories of my childhood with my brothers were spent.
the welcoming arms of my family, will always remain widely opened for me.
my laughters and tears saturates the air in which i breathe.
the every corners of the walls knows me inside out, my every story.
my sanctuary, a place that I can always return to.
my heart will always be.

there is no where else in the world you would rather be than home.
when i realised this, i realised i was homesick.

Inspirations.

# 34. Modelle Beauty 50.

Hey readers! =D

This post ain't my usual inspiring posts but I do want to take the opportunity to announce to you guys about this modelling competition that I got into. It is a new modelling competition in Malaysia, similar to America's Next Top Model and as most of you all know, every girl will be voted out. *sobs!* But as for this competition, its 10 girls out every month until the last one standing from the beginning of a total of 50 girls. So yea, it is kinda scary. So please please, DO vote for me to keep me alive in this competition. =] Thanks! *hugs and kisses*

Besides just voting for us, top 3 voters will get some goodies as well. *laughs* Interesting huh? Do read below to get further tempted! =]

PRIZES (VOTERS BENEFITS)

1.Beauty 50 (1st round) Top 3 highest voters prizes:

First prize: RM500 cash prize, half year subscription of MODELLE Magazine (6 issues) and a date with one of the model of choice.
Second prize: RM 400 worth of vouchers on branded apparels/accessories/shoes

Third prize: RM 200 worth of vouchers/package of facial products/F&B vouchers.

Interested? Continue reading!

Alright, here are some photos of my first photoshoot. My theme was Bohemian. So yea, I know I don't look like me. *laughs* Anyhow, do enjoy. =]

The before.
(yes, I'm a camwhore. =P)

The after.
(yes, I cam-whored after the shoot in the car =P)


The location- KTM Malaysia.
(The place is really beautiful. Haunted-scary though.)
Photographs credits to Khairul Nizam Lamin.

The outcome.
(I know I don't look like me right? *laughs*)
This is the main picture of 4 that is going to be in the magazine.

Like those pictures?

To vote for me:
Type MODV (space) MEL to 36660
RM 1.00/vote.
There are no voting limits. (the more the merrier! =])
Voting for the first round starts 6th October 2009.

To visit the magazine website, please click here.
To visit the magazine facebook page, please click here.
To visit my facebook page, please click here.

The very first issue of this magazine will be in stores by this weekend. Remember to grab one yourself alright? It is only RM 7.00 per copy. So yeah, please do vote for me and help me spread the word yea. =D Your every vote means a whole lot to me. Have a great day. Hugs.

Loves.~

Inspirations.

# 33. Quantity vs. Quality.

So what if you have 10000 people who knows you?

So what if you have 1000 people in your facebook list?
So what if you have 900 people in your chat list?
So what if you have 800 friends?
So what if you have 700 contacts in your phone book?
So what if you have 600 followers on your twitter list?
So what if you have 500 admirers?
So what if you have 400 girls giving you a late night booty call?
So what if you have 300 famous friends?
So what if you have 200 boyfriends?
So what if you have 100 best friends?
When all you need is
1 true friend/ 1 soul mate
The one who you can trust
The one who you know will not betray you
The one who is there no matter how impossible life seems
The one who knows you in and out
The one who accepts and loves you for who you are
The one who you know will never leave
The one who picks you up and gets you going
The one who cares for you
The one who protects you
The one who listens to your every ups and downs
The one who forgives and forget
The one who believes in you

So tell me, what matters more?

Inspirations.

# 32. Faith.

Psalms 109

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

¹ O God, whom I praise,
do not remain silent,

² for wicked and deceitful men
have opened their mouths against me;
they have spoken against me with lying tongues.

³ With words of hatred they surround me;
they attack me without cause.

⁴ In return for my friendship they accuse me,
but I am a man of prayer.

⁵ They repay me evil for good,
and hatred for my friendship.

⁶ Appoint an evil man to oppose him;
let an accuser stand at his right hand.

⁷ When he is tried, let him be found guilty,
and may his prayers condemn him.

⁸ May his days be few;
may another take his place of leadership.

⁹ May his children be fatherless
and his wife a widow.

¹⁰ May his children be wandering beggars;
may they be driven from their ruined homes.

¹¹ May a creditor seize all he has;
may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor.

¹² May no one extend kindness to him
or take pity on his fatherless children.

¹³ May his descendants be cut off,
their names blotted out from the next generation.

¹⁴ May the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the LORD;
may the sin of his mother never be blotted out.

¹⁵ May their sins always remain before the LORD,
that he may cut off the memory of them from the earth.

¹⁶ For he never thought of doing a kindness,
but hounded to death the poor
and the needy and the brokenhearted.

¹⁷ He loved to pronounce a curse—
may it come on him;
he found no pleasure in blessing—
may it be far from him.

¹⁸ He wore cursing as his garment;
it entered into his body like water,
into his bones like oil.

¹⁹ May it be like a cloak wrapped about him,
like a belt tied forever around him.

²⁰ May this be the LORD's payment to my accusers,
to those who speak evil of me.

²¹ But you, O Sovereign LORD,
deal well with me for your name's sake;
out of the goodness of your love, deliver me.

²² For I am poor and needy,
and my heart is wounded within me.

²³ I fade away like an evening shadow;
I am shaken off like a locust.

²⁴ My knees give way from fasting;
my body is thin and gaunt.

²⁵ I am an object of scorn to my accusers;
when they see me, they shake their heads.

²⁶ Help me, O LORD my God;
save me in accordance with your love.

²⁷ Let them know that it is your hand,
that you, O LORD, have done it.

²⁸ They may curse, but you will bless;
when they attack they will be put to shame,
but your servant will rejoice.

²⁹ My accusers will be clothed with disgrace
and wrapped in shame as in a cloak.

³⁰ With my mouth I will greatly extol the LORD;
in the great throng I will praise him.

³¹ For he stands at the right hand of the needy one,
to save his life from those who condemn him.

Inspirations.

# 31. Love.

What is love? Many people who walked upon this earth wondered the exact words to describe this feeling which is so wonderful and yet it is being feared by so many people. Someone once told me that love is as easy as 1+1=2. I reacted as though I disagree. I asked him for more only wanting to listen to his voice. Secretly inside of me, I agreed. Love is simply as simple as 1+1=2.

Love isn't complicated. It isn't a mathematical equation, it isn't rocket science. There is no explanation to what is love. It is just simple. It is an affectionate feeling towards someone or something. Even a little 2 year old know what love is. How he would cry when his favorite pet is sick, or how he would comfort his mother when he sees her sad. No one had ever taught him to love. He just knew. Like you and me. That is love.

I've always believed that there is a special someone out there that God has installed for me and you. It is not easy to find someone you love and loves you back. Finding love is not as easy as ABC. For those who've learned probability, tell me, what are the odds of having to find someone you love in this world? and that someone who loves you back equally much? (Mind you, the current population in today's world is 6.78 billion.) Many people might feel that it is no big deal, losing someone that you’re with right now. I have 10 more others who loves me out there. In another month or so, I will find another one. But do you love that person as much as you loved the one that you've lost? Will things be the same? Love does not come easily. Once you've found it, appreciate and fight for the one you love. Their every smile and laughter will automatically lift your day. The idea of living another day without them would be unbearable.

Having to have found your soul mate, you will automatically want to build a family and spend the rest of your lives together but arguments, compromise and commitment are sure enough to follow. This isn't easy. No, not at all, but again, love is what that glues us together. Every flaw of your mate will be magnified, but loving each other is not about changing them but is to accept their flaws for who they are. No one is perfect. Not even you and me. Doing this, you will learn that their flaws are what you are attracted to in the first place. Love is not perfect, it is simplicity.

I've once heard this, when you are old and white-haired, sitting on the rocking chair, resting, the clearest memories of your younger days that you will have is not of how you were a renowned supermodel in the world, it is not of the huge empire of success that you have built, but it is of the things which are simple, the days when you sit under the stars with your love, the days when you play and run around with your children, the days when you sit side by side, hand in hand with your thinning-white haired husband. It is not the destination that matters but the journey that you have shared with someone you love.

So back to my question, what is love? I honestly do not have an exact answer to it. But I believe that is something that everyone treasures, something that isn't an accident, something that will never be lost. It is a bond, a special feeling that holds us together.

Inspirations.

# 30. am currently in love with....

I'll Move On-Oliva Ong.
This road that I'm taking twists and turns
My life my chance turning dreams into reality.
Down this path faced with so many things
Sometimes I feel like giving up and turn away

Can't seem to go on. And I've been thru' this before.
Now where am I? Where do I stand? A little lost here.
But I'll remember. All those times you've bought me thru'.
I'd be a fool to give up cos' the goal is near

I'll move on I'll go on. Lord I will take your hand.
And you will guide me along. Survive thru' this storm.
So I say, come what may. I'll hold on to my hope.
Yes, I will walk down this road.
And my passion drive will lead me on

Here I am Once again caught in the rain.
Looking back I've come so far And I want to carry on
Take a step a little time It's alright.
Even thru' this rain, I want to smile again

Don't hold back now. And i've been thru' this before.
Now where am I? Where do I stand? A little lost here.
But I'll remember. All those times you've bought me thru'.
I can feel the sun shining down on me

Here I am, Here I am. Lord I will take your hand.
And you will guide me along. Survive thru' this storm.
So I say, come what may. I'll hold on to my hope.
Yes, I will walk down this road.
And my passion drive will lead me on.

Inspirations.

# 29. My list of 11.

I've always wanted to come up with a list of the things that can simply put a smile on my face for a very long time now. So here it is! Please bare with me.

11. Movies.
i love movies. simply from comedy ranging up to thriller or even horror movies. yes, i am a hard core movie buff! it enables me to feel like i am the person in the movie for that very short period of time, to experience and to think as well as to evaluate what would i do if i am in that particular situation. yes. i am a thinker.

10. Shopping.
every girl's best friend. guys, i see your eyes rolling! well, yeah. shopping is a miraculous therapy for girls no matter what and when. after a long day of shop-till-you-drop, the weight of the world seemed much less to bare. yeah, you guys might think it is the materialistic-ness in girls, that how materials can so easily satisfy girls, but nahh, it is the excitement and joy as well as triumpant feeling that we find in possessing those beautiful shining new heels or the gorgeous blue dress that we had bought.

9. Chocolates.
yes! the sinful little thing. it never failed to put a smile on my face no matter how hard life might seem. the very bittersweet thing that melts in your mouth just gives you a warmth that tingles down your spine and your lips will automatically curl up into a satisfied smile.

8. Books.
yeah, i know, you guys must be thinking, what a bookworm she is, a nerd. owh well, i can't deny the fact that i do love books. it is a hideaway for me, a getaway from the world. i can just simply be sucked into another brand new world with my own imagination running wild.

7. Pets.
well, in my case, it is my cutest pet, JD. i love him with all my heart. every single time, i lay my eyes on him, every single heartache and problems that i feel inside automatically evaporated into thin air. how his innocent puppy eyes stared into mine, filled with adoration and love, just melts my heart.

6. Music.
how people say, music is life. i agree with no hesitation. music is life. it speaks of many different stories and many different feelings in life. it sows into people's hearts and it touches people from different backgrounds. one can simply relate oneself to a very special song and automatically, it will work its magic into making one feel better, lighter.

5. Nature.
i don't know why and i don't know how but i just love admiring the beauty of nature. it mesmerizes me without fail every single time i witness the wonder of God's creation. it never fail to remind me of how beautiful and wonderful our world is. it teaches me that whatever that i am going through is nothing compared to the wonders that God had installed for me.

4. Friends.
a friend is someone who is always there to pick you up no matter what. someone that watches out for potholes for you. someone who smacks your senses back into yourself whenever you are heading towards the wrong direction. someone that supports you no matter what and is someone who accepts you for who you are.
(to people who isn't in this picture, sorry! this is the only picture i can find with the biggest number of people in it)

3. Soul Mate.
the one person who you can say "I love you" to everyday and night without feeling that it is being said too much. the one person who is ever so ready to listen to your every heartaches and joy. the person who you wish to wake up to every morning and just with a smile on their face, every problem miraculously dissipates. the very person who you wish to build a future and to spend your whole lifetime with. the very person who is your everything.

2. Family.
home is where the heart is. family is the only people who you can always go back to no matter what you have been through. no matter how hard life may be when you are away from home, going back home overwrites everything and all you feel is acceptance and love. your family supports you, forgives you and accepts you for who you are no matter what. there is no other place that i prefer to be than home. i love my dad, my mum and my brothers with my all.

1. God.
my Strength, my Guidance, my Hope, my Redeemer, my Father, my Friend, my Trust, my Love, my Sanctuary, my Peace, my Joy, my Healer, my Everything.

You readers might wonder why do I want to come up with this long list? Some of you might think that it is boring or maybe, some of you might think that it is so irrelevant to the readers! Well, what I want to do here is for myself as well as for you guys. This list is a list for me to remind me of the blessings that I have in this world, a source of joy for myself whenever I fall. And the other reason is to share this with you guys. You guys can come up with a list of your own. It need not be as long as mine, its up to you. I hope that this list of yours can give you peace and that it can put a smile on your face whenever you face hardship.

Inspirations.