i simply love the age old picture above. looking at how young my brothers and i were, i remembered how we used to play together, teased one another, argued, fought, hugged and cried together compared to how we all grew matured and into lives of our own. my eldest brother; having a stable job, beautiful house, and is getting married in a few days time, my annoying-pesky second brother; has been studying and then working in the States, just came back home after 2 long years, and me; well, i'm currently doing my degree in Kampar and is trying out any opportunity offered in life. i realised how less we talk lately and how much we grew apart. i realised how old my parents have grown and i understand how lonely they must have felt. i saw shimmering tears lingering in both my parents' beautiful eyes when they saw this picture-currently my wallpaper- and i saw how excited their eyes lit up whenever they started talking about our younger days.
my parents said that the three of us are of different personalities. the eldest; careful, good, respects authority, shy and timid, the middle; annoying, mischievous, cheeky and cuddly, the youngest; brave, determined, careless, adventurous, a do-er, a dreamer, fragile yet strong. i guess, those words reflect exactly who we are till this very day. i realised, who we are, since we are babies, are who we truly are deep down under our skin-despite slight changes and modifications due to life lessons learnt. i know no matter how a person changed and no matter how someone felt lost and astray, you still have that person in you, you've just forgotten that you are that person.
i am a person who never say never. if theres an obstacle in front of me, i'll crawl, climb, move, dig, do whatever it takes, to overcome it. believe me, my mum said when i was as little as a few months old, i started climbing over the baby cot, no matter how hard and high just to get out. i always fall off the barricades and hurt myself. yes, i tend to fall and get hurt a lot when i was young. i am fragile but yet strong. my grandma used to tell me that i used to be really really fragile-like. i can simply fall by just walking by myself on a straight road, which explains my bruises as well, but as small as i am, i am able to move a 10kg packet of rice. i love exploring and i love freedom as well as learning and understanding new things. i never liked being grounded and locked up by anything, for example the baby cot, and i started speaking even before i was 1 year old-compared to my brothers;1++ and 4++ respectively.
so yeah, listening to all those little little things which made a huge mark in my parent's memories brought tears of happiness to my eyes as well. how silly and how kids say the darnest things. i realised that things used to be so much easier and simple back then. where we can run and explore without worries. even if we fall, we would climb back up, wipe away the dirt and that little tear in our eyes, and continue running around with that same wide smile pasted on our faces as before. how fear used to be only scoldings from mummy and daddy. how we were carefree and brave, pure and innocent, new and fresh to the harshness and coldness of life. i wish to be able to turn back time. hell, i remember that i've always wanted to grow up fast because i felt that being a child, i am restricted to a lot of things-like i've said, i'm adventurous and i love to explore things in life- and now, how much i would give up just to go back to the days where i used to fight with my brothers, we used to play hide-and-go-seek, how i used to play imagination games with them, how they did not let me touch their GI Joe figurines and how i used to always try to fit in with my brothers-we have a huge age gap. i missed those simpler days and by simply thinking about it, reminded me of who i am and my priorities as well as what matters in life.
Inspirations.
